John: Ron, you’ve been nominated as a Model Citizen for this August issue of Model Citizen’s Magazine for everything you do for your clients, for society, and for charity, congratulations.
Ron: For me, I always had that, I guess I was born with it, my older brother always told me I was born to be a philanthropist. Of course, I didn’t really know what that was when I was younger, I just thought it was a natural thing. I was just going through life when I got hit with losing my son Michael on July 22nd of 1998. That was for me the lowest time of my life.
I didn’t think I was going to come out of it, to be honest, I had major depression which most people who have lost a child go through. It was terrible. When I lost Michael, I said he took my life, and then later many years later, after doing a lot of work and soul searching and really getting deep with my own personal work, I actually would say he gave me my life. Now I don’t see things or people as an opportunity for me, I see it as more spiritual. Things the way they are supposed to be. Like this interview, to me, it is supposed to be, not for my gain, it’s to help somebody who’s going to read it or see me and be touched the way I was touched in my life.
Right now, there are a lot of people sitting in the corner of the room and they can’t get out of their own way. They feel depressed, there’s no help. If we can reach one of those people by your interview today, that’s what my goal is. That is what got me out of my own self and into the moment, living in the moment, and not looking for something to get something. No one is 100% that way all the time, but for me, if I can be helpful to somebody that is what I want to do. Becoming a therapist and counseling people, that got me to pursue my license which gave me credibility so people will come in and listen. I help guide people to have better lives.
I also learned when and how to share some of my story, because as a professional therapist you need to know how to place your personal story in the session to make sure it is about them and their story. I always was an up person, funny, comedic, but when I lost my son, people would not recognize me. I lost 50 or 60 pounds. I was depressed, I lost everything I owned, I had absolutely no money. I was in the hole for a fortune. There’s very little help out there, so I was whining “poor me”, “I can’t believe nobody helps me”, and you know when I look back, I think thank God no one did, because that’s what got me to where I am now. Like the story of Job in the Bible. Now I have more than I ever had, and the things that I have more of, for me personally, besides having a big large practice in the country, is that I have a gift to be able to help people in large numbers with therapy. It was all very frightening. It was torturous. I’m probably, maybe 1% of people who lost a child and now I have a life, most aren’t able to do that. No one would ever know it if they met me because I have so much life in me, so much excitement and energy.
John: Let’s take our readers back a bit. Because it was obviously a very tragic event.
Ron: Well with Michael, he was driving on Sunrise Highway on a Sunday afternoon. It was about 12 noon. He was a good driver but somehow he lost control of his car. Although he wasn’t speeding. He slid to the other side of Sunrise Highway. Right around that area, close to Patchogue, there was no guardrail, there is one about a hundred away, so if only he was a little bit further along he would have the guardrail. His car went across the grass median which acted like ice. There’s a bit of a hill right there, heading east, and a tractor-trailer came over that hill. It was just way too late. Michael’s car was in that lane and the truck hit him and both boys were killed.
I have to be honest, I have to tell you that my heart goes out to the guy who was driving the truck because there’s no way that guy woke up that day and said I’m going to kill two boys today. If he is still alive, he’s living with this all his life. I don’t know him. I don’t have any anger towards him or anything. It’s just not his fault. It’s like winning the lotto. Say a guy who never played before goes into a gas station and buys a ticket. Then he wins. How does he win? Maybe the timing was perfect, maybe it was the gas station. So what happened to Michael was a bad Lotto. Bad timing.
I have to be honest, I have to tell you that my heart goes out to the guy who was driving the truck, because there’s no way that guy woke up that day and said I’m going to kill two boys today. If he is still alive, he’s living with this all his life. I don’t know him. I don’t have any anger towards him or anything. It’s just not his fault. It’s like winning the lotto. Say a guy who never played before goes into a gas station and buys a ticket. Then he wins. How does he win? Maybe the timing was perfect, maybe it was the gas station. So what happened to Michael was a bad Lotto. Bad timing.
John: I get what you’re saying.
Ron: My heart goes out to anyone who’s been in this situation. It could be any of us
John: When I was 23 myself, I was still an athlete coming out of high school and college, even if most of my running was after women. When I started to have trouble breathing and they told me I had only three months to live because of a genetic mutation, that was a killer. I’m very fortunate to be here.
Ron: I did want to tell you that I followed your story. I was telling Judy about it. I loved your uplifting attitude. I just like the feel of what you are putting out. I can just feel when people are sincere or not and your story. it’s really tremendous.
John: I’m Very grateful for every minute of my life.
Ron: John, I just want to say one more thing about losing a child for the public. One of the things that I wrote about was “honor your child’s life by living yours”. I’m living my life, not in a depression, I’m living my life with excitement because I’m honoring my son.
John: And Michael would want his father to be living his life, not broken for the rest of his life because he’s in heaven having a good time. Tell me more about hypnosis. A lot of people are skeptical about that.
Ron: This is my simple thing, it gets you to relax in a deep way and frees your mind up to listen to what your subconscious is saying. That is where you put a lot of stuff you deal with later, or maybe it was dealt with before. It’s a sitting in what I call a thought Library. My theory is that it is a library packed with books that everyone put in there. All that you’ve experienced, family school, everything from a little kid. So what most people try to do is try to change their lives as they get older but what happens is all of a sudden they’re right back where they were before. That’s because they missed a step. They didn’t remove one book from their thought library, and they need room for new thinking. They need a new book that they can write that will change their life. So we teach them to take one of the books out, recognize what that is and use other tools I teach them to help them build on.
John: You’re helping them remove the baggage and put some good stuff in there.
Ron: Yes, in my book one of my analogies is a regular garage. I relate the garage to a mind garage. What people do, for instance, I’m Italian with four brothers. A blue-collar guy. Let’s say your father says we have to clean the garage. So we take everything out, sweep the floor and we put everything back in a different spot. We need to learn how to throw out things. You can always bring them back later, but we need to refill the garage. For readers who want to know more they can read my book “The Zing”
John: Well I am sure after this interview if our readers and your fans have not already read your book “THE ZING” they will. Thank you so much for sharing your story so candidly. I could never imagine what you have been through, but as you know I always say: Live in Gratitude. Pay it Forward & Cherish your Chapters of Love. Stay safe….
Categories: Ron Villano